So you think a 3 day juice cleanse is too drastic a way to detox your body? Cry us a river! These extreme detox programs are taking the cleanse concept to the whole new level. Next time you complain about your juice cleanse, remember—things could have been way, way worse. Here’s three craziest detox programs certain folks are actually doing. Definitely do not try to repeat it at home! You might want to mention one of those ideas to your family doctor—you know, just to see the expression on their face.
Ketogenic Enteral Nutrition Cleanse
Going on a juice fast and giving up solid foods is not a walk in the park, we feel you. But, at least, you get to drink your juices. As in—through your mouth. Creators of the KEN (Ketogenic Enteral Nutrition Diet haven’t been so nice. Imagine—for a period of ten days, special liquid formula, mostly consisting of protein and nutrients, would go directly into your stomach through a plastic tube that goes up your nose and is taped onto your face.
But wait, it gets even better. Here is how you “cheat” on KEN: You unhook yourself from that tube for one hour a day so that you can shower. We’d say the key here is to make the most of this hour—go ahead and drink that shower water, treat yourself!
Baby Food Cleanse
Ever heard of Tracy Anderson? She is that celebrity fitness trainer who just recently launched the infamous $900-a-month gym in New York's Midtown area. Well, she is also responsible for masterminding the Baby Food Cleanse idea. The name of the cleanse is pretty self-explanatory—all you eat is teeny tiny portions of pureed turkey, veggies—and whatever it is we, adults, feed babies with. The thing is, an average jar of that baby pure contains somewhere between 17 and 40 calories. So in order to hit the 1,000 calorie minimum, you might have to eat roughly 50-60 of these little jars. Well, at least you won’t have enough time to think about adult food—you’ll just be too busy scraping the glass and licking puree of your fingers. But hey—at least this baby food is not too solid and not too liquid, right?
Wonder Soup Cleanse
Oh, the glorious veggie soup, also known as a teenage girl’s ultimate prom weapon. Here’s how it works. For the gruesome period of one to two weeks (depending on how long you are planning to torture yourself,) you’d only be eating soup made of onions, celery, cabbage, and tomatoes. This concoction boasts negligible amount of calories and nutrients. “Negligible” is also what you’d be getting in terms of energy—since the “wonder soup” doesn’t contain any fruit or protein.